Today I was sitting in going over my sixteen years of life. It never fails that every Wednesday I get super bitched at. I get told I’m embarrassing to my mother, and disappointment, a bag of shit, going no where in life, useless, fucked up, and a liar. My mother thinks I lie about wanting to die. She thinks I lie about the counciling sessions I enjoy attending. Just because I’m sixteen, like to go out with my friends, doesn’t mean I’m going to become a junky and fuck my life up. Every fucking teenager has gone out and drank alcohol, smoked weed and experimented with other things. For god sakes, having sex isn’t going to ruin my life. I’m not an idiot, and going to get pregnant. I lost the trust with my mom because my friends where out around mid night and I went to the end of the drive way to see them. I got yelled at for that. Thats harmless. Just because you don’t believe me? Doesn’t make it not true. You think you’re so cool stalking my twitter and getting in my life when really I’m going to fucking leave soon. You’re driving me away, not trying to help me you fuck head. I missed one day of fucking school doesn’t mean that I’m a fucking piece of shit. I attended all last week. Summers almost here so you can shut your mouth. I hate that you’re skinny, have a boyfriend, and can freely tell at me when ever you want. You think I don’t care about yur feelings but I don’t even fucking pay attention to mine. The only reason I haven’t tried to kill myself yet is because I know that you love me and would be upset about it. And I haven’t fucking ran away because I know how you would be so broken. I don’t do the shit I do because I hate you. I do it because I’m figuring out my life. I don’t even understand the point of growing up. I don’t want to live 80 years. What’s the fucking point of evolution. Why do I have to have a fucking good life? And try so hard for one? I fucking hate humanity. Why do we want kids or lots of money? I don’t want to live any more it’s fucking stupid. I can’t share my emotions and I’ve been told multiple times I’m just a fucking mess so why keep trying.
